Lack of Cash Leads to Curious Chain of Events

Last night, I as stood shivering at an Upper West Side bus stop with my dear friend, midway through our trip home after seeing Lady Gaga as MSG -- which left me feeling as if I may have accidentally joined a cult, as there was a lot of preaching, you see, and blood, and strange rituals -- I realized that I was smoking the last cigarette in my pack.

This made me realize that I only have twenty bucks to last me until my next paycheck...which is still almost a week away.

This led to some quick math where I tried to justify spending twelve of those twenty dollars on a pack of cigarettes that would last me about three days. My better judgment won out.

I told my friend to dare me to not smoke until my next paycheck. I have little self control on my own, but find it nearly impossible to resist a dare.

She dared me.

I woke up this morning realizing that I wouldn't be having a cigarette as I walked to the subway. I panicked, then let my masochist side take over and suggest: What if you just quit altogether? It's going to fucking suck to go all week without a smoke...so why not make it extra difficult and painful and go ahead and say you're done...forever! And then the masochist side of me dared me. Ass.

At eleven am, I flipped out on my boss in an email. Around one pm, I felt the need to kick a puppy. On my commute home, I kicked a girl's backpack -- which thankfully was not on her back at the time, though that may have felt more satisfying.

After eating most of a box of Girl Scout cookies and a block of Swiss cheese for dinner -- no money for groceries, either, it appears -- the masochist came out again. "Hey," is said,"I dare you to go run three miles with your bad attitude, smoker's lungs, and gut full of sugar and cheese..." And I did.

Then it said,"Well, since you aren't miserable enough, yet, let's try this: instead of ending your night with a few glasses of Jameson in a dark, creepy bar, let's do yoga! And then go to sleep!"

Here I'm rebelling. I'm sitting on the yoga mat, yes, but I'm doing it with my computer on my lap and a scowl on my face. But now I'm thinking: if on the off-chance this whole not-smoking and running and staying in on occasion thing takes root, I can blame it all on being a total failure at making a monthly budget.

-Roo